Narrator: Welcome to the Real People, Real Stories Podcast brought to you by The Paciello Group, bringing you the interesting and diverse stories of individuals working to make the world a more inclusive place. Mark Miller: Hey, welcome to Real People, Real Stories, brought to you by The Paciello Group. I am your host, Mark Miller, thanking you for helping us keep it accessible. If you're enjoying Real People, Real Stories, if you think it might help someone, share it, tell someone about it. Hey, you can link to it from your accessible website. Thank you, everybody for joining us, We appreciate every time you guys are all with us. We have some great people on the podcast with us today. My good buddy Todd is co-hosting. Welcome, Todd. And we also have... Todd Waites: Thank you. Mark Miller: ... Jeff Steinberg. Welcome to both of you. Jeff Steinberg: Hey guys, how are ya? Mark Miller: We're doing great, Jeff, how are you? Jeff Steinberg: If I were doing any better, I'd be you, Mark, and we'd be twins. Mark Miller: I don't know about that, but I'll take it. I'll take it. So Jeff, tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, and then I know that you've done some exciting things through the time, so we'll dig into some of your books, I think you have a book coming up. But first, just lay the ground work for us. Who are you? What do you do? Why are we talking to you today? Jeff Steinberg: Well, first of all, let me tell you, Mark, it's a real pleasure to be on the program and Todd it's good to see you again. Todd Waites: Always good to see you. Jeff Steinberg: Always good to be able to hang out with you. Mark Miller: You and Todd go way back, huh? You've known each other? Jeff Steinberg: Yes. In fact, I'm on this program because I was recommended to you through Todd. Mark Miller: By Todd Waites. Todd Waites: Yeah, we've known each other probably since '94 or '95, somewhere in there. Jeff Steinberg: I think in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Mark Miller: Oh wow, I didn't realize it was that long. Todd Waites: Oh yeah. Mark Miller: That was a while ago. Todd Waites: We were both teenagers and you know. Jeff Steinberg: God mess with kids. Mark Miller: Right. So where did you guys meet? Jeff Steinberg: I believe it was in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, wasn't it? Todd Waites: Yeah, that's when I lived in, you were on tour and you spent the night at my house. We had chatted over the phone and knew each other, but yeah. Mark Miller: So Todd just mentioned that you were on tour, Can you tell us a little bit, Jeff, about what that means? What were you on tour doing? Jeff Steinberg: I'm an entertainer, I'm a singer, I'm a speaker. I'm an award winning comedian, humorist, author. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a grandfather. I'm incredibly talented, very, very cute, and mostly, humble. And if you don't believe... Mark Miller: And very humble, I see. How do you maintain the humility amongst all that talent, Jeff? Jeff Steinberg: Humility prevents me from telling you how truly humble I am. Mark Miller: Is that what it is? Jeff Steinberg: That's what it is. Mark Miller: That's a lot of different things. It sounds like if there's a stage, you can get up there and do all sorts of different things on it. How did that come about for you? How did you discover you had all these different talents and how did you develop them and become known for them over time? Jeff Steinberg: Well, my main message is that each of us is a masterpiece in progress. And when I step out on a platform to speak, the first thing I want them to hear is, quit focusing on the handicap and start appreciating the gift. Todd was mentioning earlier, There is so much negativity, before we went on that is, there's so much negativity in the world, especially on social media and all of that. And the truth is, we're all whining about something we can't do anything about, when in fact, we're not doing anything to make a difference in our world, to build up, to encourage. Let me go back and give you just a little bit of a background. I was born, I was a Thalidomide baby. Thalidomide community, United States in 1948, and hovered around the Northeast United States, And it was given to moms to help them to keep the pregnancy. It boosted the mom's immune system and helped them when they were spotting or nauseous or whatever it is that they needed help with. It did that and a lot more. What we found out was that babies who were products of the drug Thalidomide ended up with limb deficiencies or limb deformities, missing bones or missing arms or parts of arms and legs or whatever. And I was born with what the doctors call Phocomelia. I have no arms. I have one little stump on this side and nothing on this side except the shoulder. Both legs were bent, scissored, crisscrossed, and the doctors didn't really think I was going to live. My grandmother saw me for the very first time and she called my father at work and he rushed to the hospital, he was the one that made most of the decisions from that point on. My mom did not know about my disability until my grandmother let it slip, when I was about 17 months old. Sitting in the kitchen, she said, "Ruthie, he's alive." My mom put down whatever she was using, kitchen utensil, and she just leaned against the counter and she said, "Mom, why won't they let me see him? Is he ugly?" And I think she thought I was facially deformed or retarded. And my grandmother got up, walked over to her and put her arm around her and said, "No Ruthie, he's not ugly. He's beautiful. He has a Yiddish cup, a Jewish head, a Jewish face." My mom and dad and my oldest sister, Linda, came to see me for the very first time when I was almost two years old in a children's welfare shelter in Philadelphia. And she paced the floor with me in her arms, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Then turned, placed me back where she picked me up, swung around, stood as tall as her 4'8" frame would hold her and told my father, "Irving, I'm ready to leave. Take me home." My relationship with my parents was very difficult from that point on. It went from once a week to two to three times a year, maybe. From the time I was two and a half years old for about the next five and a half years, I was in and out of Shriners Hospitals for crippled children in Philadelphia. There, they operated to straighten my legs. They fitted me with my first orthotic leg brace and fitted me with my very first arm, which was nothing more than a stump socket with a screw attached. I went to school at Shriners. And when I was about eight years old, the doctors, in one of their regular rounds came by and said, "We're going to send you home. We can't do anything more with you till you stop growing." I looked at Dr. Morgan and told him to give it a week, because I'm still only four feet, six inches tall and as tall as I'm going to be. I lived at home for about nine months but it got to be too difficult for my mom and dad to take care of me and now, three girls. And it was the girls that were the problem, Todd. It's always the girls that are the problem. So I... Mark Miller: The difficulty in care for you, Jeff, was that centered around health or was it more just you didn't have arms. People probably had to do a lot of things for you. Jeff Steinberg: Oh, I'm probably the healthiest person in this discussion right now. I mean because, like I said, the Thalidomide actually boosts the immune system. I mean, I'm immune to just about everything. I don't even go away when you want me to. Mark Miller: So it's really just about the additional... Jeff Steinberg: Yeah, it was really about my mom being able to get me dressed for school, My mom being worried about me going out to play in the neighborhood with other kids, My mom worried about me not being safe and me only having three sisters and no brothers or no... And my dad would go to work at like 6:00 in the morning And he would get home at 4:30 in the afternoon. So if I needed help using the bathroom or whatever, it fell to the girls. And that became problematic, in itself. But as far as my health goes, I mean, aside from the surgeries that I had had, I was pretty healthy. Mark Miller: Okay, that paints a good picture. I can envision that challenge that it must've been going on, especially with a bunch of young people. You're young, your sisters are young, there's gender difference. I mean, there's gotta be a lot of challenges when it comes to someone who needs... Jeff Steinberg: I had one sister that was five years older than I. But it was difficult, to say the least. But it was also difficult for my mom and dad, because I was always that unspoken conversation, that unspoken topic when they were with friends or when we would go out or whatever, and people would look and like that. And my mom blamed herself, my dad blamed himself, neither one of them would really talk about it because you didn't really do that in the '50s and '60, talking about it. Mark Miller: How did it make you feel knowing that you were a topic of conversation often because of all these things? Jeff Steinberg: I was a ham. I liked being the center of attention, even if they didn't talk about me in front of me all the time. The only time it really bothered me, in 1960, Halloween day, 1960, my father and mother drove me 63 miles away to the Good Shepherd Home, which is a home for kids with disabilities and old people, in Allentown, Pennsylvania. And I was going to live there with these kids that had disabilities and these adults. And I sat in the superintendent's office in this big, huge padded leather chair, and the superintendent and then my mom and dad all talked about me, but nobody talked to me and I didn't really want to be there. And at that point, I was in a situation where I was really not happy. But that was really the only time. I've always been pretty optimistic and I've looked at my life in terms of my abilities and not in terms of what I couldn't do. I was little, I could take a watch apart using my mouth and my feet. I could feed myself with my feet. Can you feed yourself with your feet? Mark Miller: I can't. Jeff Steinberg: Can you get your feet to your mouth? Mark Miller: Probably not. Jeff Steinberg: I don't know, that's not what Todd tells me. He told me you were pretty good at putting your feet in your mouth. Mark Miller: Yeah, I'm putting my foot in my mouth, I walked into that one. Jeff Steinberg: Something about rap music. Todd Waites: Oh man. Mark Miller: Yeah, that was before the mics heated up, Jeff, we don't need to go back into [crosstalk 00:12:25], it was an opinion. Todd Waites: Okay, well you have two musicians on the podcast and one rapper. Mark Miller: I get it. Todd Waites: The two you don't cross. Mark Miller: Yeah, all right. So, this is interesting to me, right, Because I've got Todd, you're in this conversation, primarily because you're a good friend of Jeff's and you've known him for a long time. Jeff Steinberg: And a very talented musician. Mark Miller: What's that? Jeff Steinberg: And a very talented musician. Mark Miller: Oh, you guys are both talented, it's not even a joke, you guys are both very, very talented. So, I have a lot, this is like one of these things doesn't belong. That's who I am, that's my square here on this Zoom, because I don't have any musical talent and I certainly don't share some of the things that you guys share. But Todd, you also, this is interesting to me because you're missing an arm, as well, but you didn't lose your arm until later in life. So the big difference here is that Jeff was born with no arms, right, and sort of grew up in that condition. But you, as a teenager, which I think is one of the most emotionally tumultuous times anyways. When you're a teenager, you had two arms and then lost one of them. And so I want to unpack a little bit what that difference is, how that hits you emotionally when you have it and then lose it, versus when you're born not having your limbs or whatever the case is, right? Just with a difference from the rest of the people around you. So, I mean, Todd, listening to Jeff and his positivity sort of throughout his life, despite the fact that he has challenges, that the people around him didn't have. How do you feel about that? How is that different than your experience having this sort of drastic change as a teenager? Todd Waites: Yeah, that's a really great question because I don't know what it's like to be somebody that, that first day of kindergarten, you sit at your desk and the other kids scatter. I've heard stories of that, kids born... Mark Miller: Is that true, Jeff? I mean, is that an experience that you've had where other kids were? Jeff Steinberg: Well, when I was in grade school, the first couple of years, I was in a school for kids with disabilities. I started to go to public school and the kids would look at me. I had pretty much developed enough of a thick skin that I would look at him and tell him, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." And when they would start to say something to me, I'd just kind of aim it back at them because that was the way I was. I didn't know anything different and I could show them how I could do things that they didn't think I could do, but my way. Mark Miller: Yeah, and it sounds like that maybe the foundation or the sort of breeding ground for some of the talents that you developed, like humor and you're obviously poised and you can speak and you can sing. So Todd, I kind of diverted you in the middle of your explanation there, but you were saying that you didn't really... It was hard for you to relate but just hearing Jeff's experience as it contrasts with yours, what does that... Todd Waites: Well, it's interesting because... So I lost my arm when I was 14 and it was to a rare childhood bone cancer. And it happened, there were no symptoms. My arm broke and it showed up on an x-ray and soon thereafter, I had one arm and I was starting chemotherapy. It happened so fast that I didn't have a whole lot of time to digest it, but I was thrust into a world of... I became the most popular kid in school. So that was kind of interesting for me, but it wasn't for all of the good reasons, because I went from [inaudible 00:16:44] thrust into kind of a strange world where now, for the rest of my life, I knew I could never walk into a store without people pointing and staring and whispering and things like that. And, I'm so glad that I had music in my life. I played keyboard board since I was four, and since then, I've toured the world as a keyboard player, and I've played with big national acts. And that wasn't some kind of coping method. I've known Jeff for a long enough to know that when he does comedy, he's just being him, man. People can look at that and say, "That must be your coping mechanism." People assume that we're not okay with who we are and that there's some deep rooted, "No man, I was just into music and I wanted to be a rock star before I lost my arm. And after, I still wanted to be a rockstar." And so I got to live some of that life, and just like Jeff, he's out there touring, singing, making people laugh at his own expense, And it's not some kind of coping mechanism, he's just a funny guy, and he likes to see people laugh and he's filled with talent. So I don't know if I'm answering your question other than my life certainly changed. I wasn't born this way to where it was something I was used to by the time I started noticing things, it happened and then there it was right in front of me. And I've certainly been bullied, I've certainly been made fun of. I mean, being 14 and and missing an arm, trying to be lefthanded which I never was, and then chemotherapy, I was bald from that and was really sickly looking. If I got out of my home turf, so to speak, out of my own middle school and then maybe at a football game or something. I remember somebody asked if they could borrow my comb because I was bald and then the Cancer Society paid for a wig and I couldn't win with that either. But back then, the technology isn't what it is today, it looked like a piece of plastic Lego hair. So I wasn't fooling anybody, but people made fun of me for that. And my perspective had to change of that. Not much I can do about that. Mark Miller: So initially you were angry but, I mean, you're a pretty funny dude, too, Todd, right? So initially, maybe you're angry at that stuff but then you've learned to kind of manage it better through humor and some other things? Is that fair to say? Todd Waites: Yeah, I joked around so much prior to, so I don't know that my personality... The only time I personality shifted was when I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is never going to end. I can't win." Mark Miller: Right, It's not fate, yeah. Todd Waites: But I'm so grateful to go through that because I also go around and speak at a lot of schools about anti-bullying and being comfortable with yourself and I could never be able to speak about that passionately had I not experienced it. But the great thing is I've experienced overcoming and having big dreams and chasing those dreams and seeing them happen. And that's the story. Jeff Steinberg: That's the real secret is, you gotta have a story to tell. It's one thing for somebody to say, "You shouldn't bully because you might hurt somebody's feelings." But it's another thing to say, "Okay, I faced some bullying," and everybody in the audience looks at you and says, "Yeah, so what? Get over it." But if you stand up there and you can showcase or tell them a story that makes them feel what you feel. And in your case, Todd, showcase a bit of talent, play something on a keyboard that says, "Hey, look at what I've been able to do since then." Or I get up and sing a song. I think what helped me a lot was that I met some people when I was 11 years old and they were Mennonites, and they taught me what Psalm 139:14 really meant. That I am made to be awesome and wonderful, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And I stopped making it about what was wrong with me and made it more about, look at what I could do and what I can be? So what's your excuse? Mark Miller: Yeah, I think that's a great point. And you had said something earlier about kind of expressing that, hey, this is just the way I was, this is what I had to work with. And the way I interpret it is these are the things I wanted to do, I'm going to go do them just like anybody else would. And I really think about that and when you phrase it like that, we're not that different. Just because you have something, a disability or a challenge that people can see, that's unusual, it doesn't necessarily make you that different in terms of the challenges in life. Because I have things I'm really bad at or I mean, I have ADD and dyslexia and so I could go on and tell you stories about that growing up and going through school and difficult moments with that. But like you, that's just something I had to learn to deal with, you know what I mean? So that's me and the listeners out there are probably now thinking like, "Oh well hey, this is what it is for me and that's what it is." I can't sing. I want to sing, I can't sing. So there's just different sort of abilities and disabilities that we all have that we all have to deal with. And I think that that's an unbelievable perspective to come to the table with. Especially Jeff, when people can look at you and just sort of immediately, like you guys said it, you walk into a store and people are automatically whispering about you, which I find a little... I'm surprised people are still doing that. Jeff Steinberg: I find myself... Mark Miller: But people don't whisper about a guy with ADHD and dyslexia. Jeff Steinberg: Yeah, I find myself being a little bit more frustrated with the "disability community" than I do with the general public. Mark Miller: That's interesting. Jeff Steinberg: Mostly because for several years, and I tell this story in concert sometimes, I'm not very good with political correctness, I never was, okay. I had a five year old that once looked at my hook and wanted to know why I didn't have any hands. And I told him, "I used to bite my fingernails and one day I went too far." He's in trauma therapy, even as we speak. But I sang and spoke for the President's Council on Hiring Persons with Disabilities in Washington, DC for about four years. And oh by the way, he never shows, just so you know. If you're going to speak for that group, he will not be in the audience. But I went to sing and speak for that group and this one particular year and I must have used the word handicap way too many times because this rather elegantly dressed blonde lady in a suit came up to me and she said to me, "Jeffrey." Now I remember what it meant when my mother used to say Jeffrey. It usually meant things were not going to go well for me. She said, "Jeffrey, if you're going to make it in this industry." I said, "Industry?" I said, "Mary, we're manufacturing handicapped people?" She said, "If you're going to make it in this movement, you're going to have to learn the proper terminology." I said, "Great. So what is the proper terminology?" And she said, "Disabled." And I said, "But I'm not." She looked at me funny. And she said, "Excuse me?" I said, "Mary, disabled suggests that I am not abled. Let's see, I drive a car, I'm married, I have a family. I'm a recording artist, I do graphics design. What part of my life is disabled?" And she looked at me, she said, "Well, how about physically challenged?" I said, "Aren't we all?" She said, "I beg your pardon?" I said, "Mary, go to the top floor of the Washington Hilton in downtown Washington, D.C. Go up to the very top floor, open the windows, step out on the ledge, jump off, flap your arms as fast as you can And you'll find a challenge, a physical challenge, you can neither meet or beat." And I looked her in the eye and I said to her, "If it is my responsibility to learn the proper terminology, it is your responsibility to use the terminology properly." We are people. I have no arms. Todd has one arm. But we are still people. Some people walk with wheels, some people walk with crutches, some people walk with sandals. We need to stop categorizing people on the basis of what we think they can do or be and start encouraging people to use their gifts to make the most out of the lives of everybody they come in contact with. And so my message, that you are a masterpiece in progress, is about looking in the mirror, quit focusing on the things that are wrong in your life, on the things that handicap you and start appreciating the gifts, because every one of us has gifts. Todd Waites: That's awesome. Mark Miller: And I mean, that's a powerful message and I think that, like I said, the difference maybe between the things that challenge me and the things that challenge you is nothing more than, yours are maybe obvious on the onset to somebody. And so when you say that, it makes it hard for other people to really disagree with it, right? It makes them have to face those things for themselves. Jeff Steinberg: Everybody has challenges and everybody has things threaten to handicap them, whether I can see it or not. Your ADD, your dyslexia. My wife is dyslexic. She can make up words that have never been invented before. Mark Miller: We probably know some of the same words. [inaudible 00:27:59]. Jeff Steinberg: Yeah, probably. But here's the thing. I encourage her to do what it is she's good at. And she's an excellent writer, as long as she's got somebody to proof it. Mark Miller: Right, or uses technology. I mean, for me, I've learned to use, as I'm sure both of you guys have, I've learned to use technology to make... Jeff Steinberg: She got her master's degree in her 60s. Look, you do what you gotta do. She's a chaplain. And I didn't think when I met her that anybody would want to marry me. Because, and even my mother said to me, it's not fair to your wife. Don't get married and don't have children, because your wife would have to take care of you and a baby. Well, my baby is 43 years old and he's got two children of his own, one's 14. Or 13, rather. The point is, I never saw my life as handicapped. I always saw my life as, okay, I do things differently, but I can still do it. I admire Todd because of his musical ability. If I could play a keyboard, that would be what I would do. Because of anything that I wished I could do, is to sit down and play keyboards because I can hear it in my head and I can see my fingers doing it. It's just, you can't see my fingers doing it and you can't hear it. Todd Waites: Mutual admiration. Mark Miller: But you sing Jeff too, and that must tickle that kind of musical desire. Jeff Steinberg: Oh yeah. Mark Miller: While you can't play the keyboard, you can participate in a real valuable way in music. Jeff Steinberg: I had a keyboard player that traveled with me and he told me, he said, "You sound an awful lot like Neil Diamond." And I said, "Who's Neil Diamond?" He said, "He scoops too." I said, "Okay." And I actually got to meet him in California, one time at the National Easter Seal Telethon in LA. Mark Miller: Neil Diamond, you meant? Jeff Steinberg: Yeah. Actually no, I actually met him in Memphis at a show he was doing for St. Jude, and I was living in Memphis. And they introduced me and they said, "Mr. Diamond, this is Jeff Steinberg and he's a musician, too." and they handed him one of my CDs and I stuck my hook out and I said, "Hi," I said, "People tell me, I sound like you. Has anybody ever told you, you sound like me?" And he looked at me and he says, "Mo, not that I can recall." And I'm thinking, "Get a life, Neil. Rent one." Todd Waites: Let's hear a little Neil Diamond line. Jeff Steinberg: (singing) Todd Waites: Nice. Jeff Steinberg: I'd clap for me, but I'm shorthanded. Todd Waites: That was a clap for yourself, I'll do it for you. Jeff Steinberg: See, Todd, you bring nice to the phrase, this is the sound of one hand clapping. Mark Miller: He did, he tapped on his desk, I heard him. Todd Waites: I did, I tapped on my desk. Mark Miller: That's kind of funny because that's how, my son and I are skateboarders and the skateboarders clap for each other by stomping their skateboard down. Click, click, click, click, sounds like... Jeff Steinberg: Hockey players do the same thing, they tap their hockey sticks on the ice, whenever they're doing something like that. Mark Miller: So Jeff, we've talked about a bunch of your talents, right, that you're a singer, that you're a comedian. And by the way, anybody who wants to just type Jeff's name into the search bar of Google or YouTube, you're going to come up with a lot of videos of Jeff doing either one of those things, right? So if you want more Jeff, it's pretty easy to find. Jeff Steinberg: YouTube channel is tgiant1. Mark Miller: Is what? Jeff Steinberg: tgiant1. Mark Miller: For tiny giant, tgiant1? Jeff Steinberg: Yeah, my YouTube channel. Mark Miller: Oh, okay cool. And we'll make sure that that's in the in the show notes, as well. But there's more right? Wait, there's more. You've also written a book. Jeff Steinberg: Yes. Mark Miller: Can you tell us about the book that you've written? Jeff Steinberg: The book is called, Masterpiece in Progress. And the book title was based on a song that was written for me in 1983. And I had told an audience one time that we were each like a masterpiece becoming one color at a time, all that God had designed for us to be. And sometimes those colors blend and sometimes they stand right up against each other in cold contrast. And we did a series called, All That I Can Be, I can be at a church in Southern California, in Van Nuys. And when I got home from that week, my keyboard player, his name is Jeff Rudloff, called me on Monday night and he said, "I wrote the title song for your next album." Now normally, he doesn't tell me anything about it. He just tells me, "I wrote one." And I said, "Well, are you going to tell me anything more?" And he said, "Yeah, you want to hear it?" And it's called, Masterpiece in Progress. And basically, the chorus says, "I may not look like it yet but you better bet I'm becoming what he wants me to be. I'm a masterpiece in progress and it won't be too long till I'm done. A few more strokes of the brush and the master's touch and I'll be the image of the sun." And I wrote this book after I had appeared on the Old Time Gospel Hour TV show in Lynchburg, Virginia, with Dr. Jerry Falwell. And I sang a duet, Through It All, with Doug Oldham. And that launched my career. By the way, October 29th, last week, two weeks ago, I celebrated 48 years since that appearance. That launched my full-time career. But I wrote the book because I wanted people to understand. In fact, when I talked to my mom about it, prior to writing the book, and she said to me, "Jeffrey, I don't know why you want to do this," She said, "It's nobody's business but ours it's my life." And I said, "Mom, how many women do you know, who might've had a setback in their life, like a child born with a disability or an accident in their life, or some sort of tragedy with a family member or difficulty, who wouldn't be encouraged by your story of a child born with no arms and no hope and no optimistic outlook on the part of the doctors or his family, and yet, he stood on some of the biggest stages in the world and on national television?" And so we wrote the book to tell the story of Jeff Steinberg, and we've sold over 50,000 copies with very little or no publicity because we've never had a major publisher that has been willing to do any major publicity on it. So most of my sales, it's been in my concerts from the back of the room. I'm working on another book. Mark Miller: I was gonna ask you about that. We've got to wrap up quickly, give us a little bit on the second book you're working on there. Jeff Steinberg: The second book has to do with how we see ourselves. I can tell you, if you do this, this, this, this, this, or this, you'll be a success. But only if your success is based on the direct results, like if making money makes you successful. And if you do this, this, this, this, and this, and you earn enough money, you might be able to consider yourself a success. The problem is, if you're not fulfilled, if you don't understand who you are and you don't understand who God designed for you to be, you're getting all the wrong answers because you're not asking the right questions. And so this book is about asking the right questions and I've got five questions that I ask in it. Who am I? Because everybody's got a story and most of us don't like our story. I'm sure that if given an opportunity, Todd could tell you that there was a time in his life, after the cancer, when he didn't like his story. They were all the bad things happen to him And none of the breaks. It didn't matter whatever talent he had, because... And the same thing with you, ADD and dyslexia and I'm never going to make it to be the person I want to be because everything seems to be going backwards. We all have excuses. Second question. What are my gifts and my abilities? What are my disabilities? Because you can't acknowledge one without the other. My limitations are the things I cannot do. And I have to acknowledge my limitations. Every single day, I have to have somebody help me take a bath, get dressed, to be perfectly blunt, wipe my rear end. Those are things I can't do for myself. And so I have to learn to accept my limitations. Third question, why am I here? I told a prisoner in England that I was here because I wanted him to be able to get back to his cell, look in the mirror and see redemption and see a masterpiece and not a criminal, to realize that there's something more to his life. Fourth question, what are my limits and my boundaries? Now I said, my limitations are the things I cannot do but my limits have to be the things I will not do. I will not sacrifice my morality or my good name for a gig or a dollar. The things I will not do. My boundaries keep me from infringing into your area and hurting you and having to do over what I should have done right the first time. And the final question, what kind of a mark will I leave behind for having been there? And I'm not talking about when I'm in the box and everybody says, "My doesn't he looked like himself?" Which by the way I'm putting a sign in the hinge of my casket that says, "Don't I look like myself?" so that they don't have to worry about asking. The truth is, that same prisoner that asked me, "Why am I here?" was released from that prison six weeks later after having made a commitment to faith the night that we were there, went back to Nigeria and became a pastor. And I played a part in that. Every single day, we leave a mark in somebody's life. Every single day, we make a mark. And so those are the five questions that I have in this book I'm working on. And then I've got another idea for another book. Mark Miller: Keep going. Jeff Steinberg: And it just came to me this past week when I was attending an entrepreneurial event with a whole bunch of people who had all this technical knowledge and said that they were speakers, but they didn't know how to speak. And I thought, you can have all the best content in the world, but if you don't know how to speak and they're up there, "Ah, er, ah, er, and I'm a real estate expert and I can tell you how to..." And I thought, remember when I opened and I said, my opening line when I walk out on stage is, "Quit focusing on the handicap and start appreciating the gift." You have that much time to grab everybody's attention and only that much time, and then you have to have a story to tell, and then you have to be able to look in the eyes of the people that you're talking to and take them from point A to point B to point C because now they can relate to how you became successful and they can start the wheels turning in their head. But all the expertise in the world isn't going to make you a speaker. So, I've got an idea for that. And the same thing applies to singers. I mean, Todd can tell you. How many times have you been in a church or in an organization where you've heard somebody get up and singing and they're looking at the ceiling and they're looking at the doors and they've got their eyes closed because they're afraid to look at the audience. Things you don't do. But my 48 years of experience can help people to know how to do that. So if you're looking and of course, I'm available and they can contact me, tinygiant.com or JeffSteinberg.net, or they can call me in Orlando, Florida, (901) 754-JEFF, and get in touch with me. I'd love to come and speak to your group, or I'd love to do it virtually. And I'm not cheap, but I'm easy. Mark Miller: Well listen Jeff, I mean, that's all wonderful, and I really appreciate you sharing all that you've shared. You really have a unique insight, I think, on the world, that everybody can benefit from. We are, believe it or not, out of time, we really have to wrap up. So we will make sure that people know how to get a hold of you, know how to find your book, know how to find your next book and your next book and all of that. But I can't thank you enough for joining us and Todd, thank you for hooking us up with Jeff. What a wonderful guest, what an inspirational human being, you both are. I tell you, it makes my job easy and it's great to do a podcast like this when it's people like you that show up on it. So thank you, both, for that. Jeff Steinberg: And thank you, Mark. By sharing who you are, you inspire a lot of people who have ADD, who have dyslexia, and who look like you. Mark Miller: I hope so. Jeff Steinberg: Which ain't so bad. Mark Miller: I hope you're right. All right, well, this is Mark Miller thanking Jeff and thanking Todd and reminding you all to keep it accessible. Narrator: This podcast has been brought to you by the Paciello Group, the experts in digital accessibility. Stay tuned for more Real People, Real Stories Podcasts coming soon.